Family Reunions

Spring begins early here in Texas. Sometimes it arrives in the middle of January, when the mornings are crisp and cool and the afternoons are warm. While much of the country is thawing we are already thinking about one of the great rituals of spring- family reunions.

I thought of my extended family just last week while I was on a conference call where everyone spoke at the same time, and no one listened. It brought a tear to my eye, and made me long for the time when all our clan comes together to talk about---ourselves.

The conversations at our reunions all begin with: "Hello. How am I? Well I just climbed Mt. Everest and simultaneously completed my doctoral dissertation while a large Sherpa made me tea and. …". We're kind of an arrogant group who thinks that whatever WE'RE doing really needs to be the topic of conversation. When it really gets going good, you could say out loud that you know where Jimmy Hoffa's body is, or who the man on the grassy knoll was (and you could even have a clear picture) but nothing would deter my clan from finishing their discourse on how well they are doing, what degree they just took, what great accomplishment they are currently completely engrossed in. The end result is that everyone leaves the party not really knowing anything about what is going on with each other but certainly more aware of what they themselves are doing and how integral they are to all things, and …blah, blah, blah.

Thank goodness we only do these shindigs every decade or so…I'm not sure I would qualify to attend if they were held annually. It's a whole room full of achievers who would probably perform all of their great exploits anyway, but surely would be even more driven if they thought they had to get with their cousins and aunts and so forth every year. It would throw off the whole balance of the reunion if one member of the family hadn't accomplished anything of great value to the world (at least in their own mind anyway) in the past year- they'd be forced to make something up, or worse---to actually listen.

Me? I prefer my wife's family reunions. They have them every spring, rain or shine.

There probably are people there who have climbed Mt. Everest recently, but they don't feel the need to discuss it in such great detail and bring out maps and photos of the ascent, the planting of the flag on the summit, and all of that. No, they have a big fish fry and sit around all day talking about the stuff that really matters to them-each other.

I don't know how they do it. First a person speaks while the other person or persons listen intently as if actually concerned and engrossed in what's being said. Then, the listener is asked questions about what they just said. Finally, and this is the important part- the listener seems to give a hang about the information they just received. Amazing. Almost like an actual conversation.

I have been videotaping some of these unusual exchanges so that I can show them at my family's next reunion-which won't happen again until the spring of 2005. That's a good thing. I'm gonna need to practice with this tape a lot before then. And I don't have much time…I really need to get going on my dissertation, and call my Sherpa, and….

by Dennis Welch